Thursday, February 10, 2011

Nine of Swords

The energy wasted on worrying about a loved one could be put to better use.

Worrying about a loved one is one of those activities that seems futile and yet we spend huge amounts of time doing it. We love them and want them to be happy. So we worry to the point where our own happiness is in jeopardy. Our time and energy could be put to better use if we first asked ourselves a few simple questions. I usually don't have to go further than this first one. Is it really my problem? Unless you are directly involved (and you probably aren't because then you'd be worried about yourself) then the answer will most likely be no. Is this person an adult making choices for themselves? Often the choices people make are not the choices we ourselves would make. Who are we to presume that the path we would take is the right path for someone else? What if, by our intervention, this loved one is not experiencing something challenging that would ultimately make their lives richer and wiser? Finally, is there anything we can really do to change the situation? The only thing we can probably do is be there to support whatever decisions your loved one makes and try to sever your emotional state from their life. I'm not suggesting that these few questions will free you from worry but they will perhaps put things into better perspective. After all, don't you have enough to think about in your own life without having to manage someone else's? 
Is there someone you are worried about and why? How does your worry help the situation? How does it make it worse? Does this person know you worry about them and how do they feel about it?

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